Marriage isn't a luxury, divorce is

Census report shows that more than half of the families in the area around DC are single-parent. Interesting.

Great article on the costs of single-parenting here. Kids suffer.

Remember, though, that divorce is considered an expensive luxury. How do I know? Because it's been shown over and over that divorce rates go up with wealth and income. It costs far more (in dollar terms) to divorce, and that doesn't measure the long-term costs to the kids.

So I wonder if we can conclude that the welfare system has become a substitute for the second parent? It's not working well, if that's in fact the case.

A question for the reporter, though: what is a "second-generation" Hispanic household? If you're Hispanic (self-identified) doesn't that stick?

Zombieland and Banks, Repost by request

[This was originally posted on 10/07/09; we're still dealing with the zombies.]

OK, so maybe the "zombie vs. possession" metaphor is lost on Washington these days. But after seeing Zombieland this week, I thought I'd use Columbus' rules to draw some conclusions about the current (and past) banking crises.

For those of you who haven't yet seen this cinematic masterpiece (which, alas, contains a few off-color swear words), the narrator and central character is Columbus, who is trying to get to Columbus, OH to check on his folks. He starts in his "dorm room" in Austin and meets up with other survivors on the way. Mayhem ensues, blah blah blah. It is a classic.

This movie, too, doesn't involve Romeroesque zombies, but more of the neo-zombie we've seen in "28 Days Later" and other recent incarnations. These guys move quick, and there's none of the traditional emphasis on head shots. (Not mentioned, but in practice these guys DO pay attention to headshots.)

Anyhow, Columbus is a real anal retentive type, because sometimes that's what's required to survive the zombie hoards. He has a set of rules that keep him alive amidst all those that aren't. Some are pretty obvious.

Rule #1: Cardio. The first to die in the Zombie Apocalypse (ZA) are those who can't run away (I'm miffed at his conclusion that it's a bunch of "fatties" that get it first -- some of us can run when we have to!) Nowadays, the zombies in the banking sense can run pretty fast, it seems. So perhaps the message is "be ready to run." I hope this doesn't apply too well to our current situation.

Rule #2: Double-tap. Make sure that you use one extra bullet/shell to confirm the demise of each zombie. What military types refer to as the 'double-tap'. Cheap insurance.

Now, if you only have a double-barrelled coach gun, as does our hero for most of the picture, it would pay to count those 18 buckshot per shell as "double" and save the second barrel when possible.

Back to banking, though: even though we bailed out the thrift system in '89, we still had to come back and implement Basel in 1991 with FDICIA (and eliminate some patronage at the same time) and "prompt corrective action". Seems like whatever happens this time is going to be politically approved as well, with some House and Senate members pushing for lending standards to drop again. Hope we've got another barrel left after they decide what to do with Fannie and Freddie (even though I'd argue that they are "possessed" and not the living undead). See here.

Rule #3: Beware of bathrooms. This is where we let our guard down, where we are also most vulnerable for a variety of reasons. In other words, banks, when eliminating the waste, are the most at risk. Maybe we should make sure they don't cut too much.

Rule #4: Seat belts. It pays to take advantage of built-in safety mechanisms. Plus, EVERYBODY is supposed to wear them. Maybe FDIC should start stopping folks just to check. And make sure all vehicles are equipped, too.

Rule #7: Travel light. You never know when all those extra assets will have to be carried at market values. Or when things that were good as gold yesterday will be revalued downward because the ratings agencies were revealed to have no clothes.

Rule #12: Bounty. It's the quicker-picker-upper. Kind of like regulatory capital in the 80s. Good to have some around.

Rule #17: Don't be a hero. Ask Jamie Dimon at JPMorgan how that's going for him these days.

Rule #18: Limber up. The Fed certainly heeded this one back in 2007, as they started to create liquidity programs for any and every purpose. Just in case. This works best alongside cardio. See Rule #1.

Rule #22: Know your way out. Sounds like something for Bernanke to consider in the future. 2006 is calling! Not that all that liquidity wasn't useful, but it's being used (erroneously) to trick the rest of the world into looking askance at the dollar. Not good.

Rule #29: The Buddy System. We're not alone in this, just almost alone. The jackals out there are licking their chops on this, hoping the US takes a big dive and takes a hit for market economies. Hint: Fannie, Freddie, FHA, and CRA/HMDA have nothing to do with market economies. Patronage is patronage, here or in China. Thanks for playing.

Rule #31: Check the backseat. Or, the reset dates and reset rates for that matter. And income. And appraisals. And buyout clauses. And most importantly, don't let anyone in the backseat do the driving.

Rule #32: Enjoy the little things. Like bonuses for the next 5 years. And political contribs for that matter.

Rule #33: Swiss Army Knife. This is from the Boy Scouts -- be prepared. Everything on that knife has a purpose.

Oh, and a little sunscreen never hurt anybody.

If you haven't seen "Zombieland" you'd better hurry up. It looks as though its theatre days are numbered, but there's always the dollar cinema run to consider. I can't wait for folks in Congress to get a chance to watch this -- maybe their favorite zombies (Freddie and Fannie) will collapse under their own weight and keep us from having to finally, finally put them down. Remember, double-taps.

Update:
A year later, I wanted to point out two classic ideas brought up in this movie, things that will be with us forever.

Tallahassee paints the number "3" on the doors of his cars. Classy as hell. I actually had someone ask me about this after the DVD came out - they weren't from the US, so they get a pass. Everyone else, no pass.

Columbus is afraid of a lot of things (being alone with a baby, hah!) but his fear of clowns is the best.

Shoe Riots in Mesquite TX

For all of you in the "it can't happen here" crowd, I wanted to post this as a reminder that poor people don't just riot in Atlanta over housing vouchers. And this from Houston.

God Almighty people! What the hell is going through your brains? It's just a pair of shoes.

The real question - how do people have time to stand in line since Wednesday at 7:30 AM to buy sneakers (riot happened this morning, Thursday)? So all of these folks are caught up at work, and at home, and their children are all adequately played-with, etc.? Amazing.

On the other hand, they could have been watching professional sports. What a tremendous sap of productivity THAT is.

The economy must be in pretty bad shape, huh?

In the meantime, these are probably the same folks who won't have time to vote (thankfully, probably) or have time to find out about pending legislation (unless someone starts talking about more handouts, I guess) or the qualifications of their representatives. Too busy in life, so busy that they "have to have" a cellphone, can't live without it.

Priorities seem to be skewed all over the place. This is just another example.

Stalin & Mao would agree with Net Neutrality; Chavez is a big believer

The latest seems to be that the FCC is going ahead with their vision of "net neutrality" regardless of Congress or popular support.

I think that Lenin, Stalin, Goebbels and some of the other big names in free speech would probably go right along with it, but that's just me.

Censorship is censorship, they can call it whatever they want. The powers-that-be right now know that talk radio and talk TV are too big, so they can't go back to the Fairness Doctrine (thank goodness). So this is the next best thing.

Bolivian President Calls for Sun to Rise in West by Century's End

At the recent Cancun conference, the president of Bolivia (where?) expressed the need for more wealth to be transferred into his economy in the name of global warming, which has now been termed "climate change." He suggested that we don't throw out Kyoto (tell China!) and instead lower the global temperature increase to 1 degree by the end of the century instead of 2 degrees.

Or, we could just all get together and agree that all little birdies should sing be-bop and that the sun must rise in the West from now on.

Nature is nature. The idea that mankind can impact global mean temperature is still arguable. What's amazing, though, is the audacity of politicians who are behind the "cap and tax" legislation out there. They think that they can snap their fingers and change global weather. Snap - no more incandescent bulbs (so you'll buy CF from our buddies). Snap - bondholders at GM must take what we tell them to take. Snap, snap, snap. Amazing.

Multiculturalism has failed, says Merkel

Maybe this is old news, but I figured I'd post a link. Germany's chancellor Merkel has declared that European multiculturalism has failed, with those who've come to Europe from other states instead setting up "parallel" societies over the past 50 years.

Tax deal, finally.

There's still some debate over the death tax going on, but it looks as though the Obama tax increase (Round 1) has been pitched overboard.

I still don't think that any of the morons in Washington understand The Big Picture. Unless we make some serious changes to how this country spends money, we're going to have some big changes in lifestyle coming up.

Housing troubles continue

Reuters is telling us that there is an expectation of higher foreclosure rates for the foreseeable future. No surprise - Freddie and Fannie are still open and making loans!

Most important to us right now: as the robosigning thing gets cleaned up and foreclosures get underway again, the first quarter of 2011 will be very, very bad.

30 percent isn't a bad discount unless you're selling.

New Tom Clancy book. Oh yeah!

Dead or Alive.

Hey, I know people are going to say "What, not all this again..." but you know, the espionage game didn't just dry up and go away - there are plenty of folks out there willing to do extreme things to undermine American interests and kill people here and abroad.

Clancy never disappoints (under his primary line that is, let's forget the whole NetQuest escapade).

I'm sure this one will be great. Get it in hardback while you can!

Bank (ATM) runs getting you down? No problem, just turn off the network. Doh!

Some folks in Ireland found out that ATMs are only as good as their banks today. Oops.

Was it an accident, or a subtle hint of things to come?

Sounds like fun - let the inmates run the asylum

Somewhere in Florida, a village is missing their idiot. For the kids though, it sounds very empowering - no more classes, no more books, no more teachers' dirty looks.

School's Out for summer...
School's Out forever.

Charlotte Hornets Bailout (I mean New Orleans!)

Wow, the NBA is buying out the Hornets. Astounding. What a really bad idea!

Bad Bills are supposed to hinder counterfeiters

These bills were supposed to make it hard to FAKE them, not print them in the first place.

Important: there are $930B in currency floating around out there.

Cyberattacks can cause real problems, part 1

I just saw this on Wikipedia. Scroll down to the end of the ROSAT and read about the "coincident" cyber intrusion at NASA Goddard and the satellite's control troubles. Hmmm.

Sounds like Russia or China had too much time on their hands at that point. Question is, what did they want to keep it from finding?

Interesting reading.

JP Morgan Chase has too much time on its hands!!!

In Southlake, Texas, JPMorgan-Chase doesn't want your business. Evidently, they have enough customers already, and can spend time worrying about trivialities.

How do I know? A branch was asked to remove a Christmas tree because, they were told, some customers found it offensive.

Next, I'm going to object that money is green (a CHRISTMAS color) and should be removed for the same reason. Here's a big bag, I'll take it off of their hands.

Wow.

Soup lines? No way!

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution (or, Urinal- ... nevermind) is reporting that people waited in line to get assistance, and the assistance ran out. Again.

Don't blame the not-for-profit that offered the assistance. It's not their fault (truly). They just ran out of money.

As we saw last year, this happened with HOUSING assistance, not HEAT assistance. Also from the AJC. See here.

Fed holds back on collateral info for nearly $1T

Bloomberg is reporting that the Fed has declined to respond with the collateral offerings for $800+ billions. In other words, they won't tell us what was pledged for these borrowings. Nice.

Also, another data site has come up, at the Fed itself (this may be a repeat from yesterday). Fun read.

Cost saving ideas for UH-Clear Lake

In Faculty Senate today, Dr. Staples once again asked the UHCL community to send him suggestions about what the university could do differently that would save money. Given that we're looking at furloughs and tuition increases, it might be important to put together as many different ideas as we can.

His email address is staples@uhcl.edu. If you want my opinion on it, copy me and I'll get back to you (michael@uhcl.edu).

Amanda Schoolcraft (our SGA person on Planning & Budgeting) suggested Monday that we do away with a lot of our printing and just do things electronically (not handing them out in class). Her reasoning was that we were "all adults here." That's the kind of logic we're looking for, folks.

Fed is going to release its emergency lending documents

Don't want to miss THIS! The Federal Reserve, long a bastion of "FOIA doesn't apply here" is going to release details of its years-long special liquidity lending programs.

Ron Paul will be disappointed, I'm sure; whatever will he talk about now? It probably won't satisfy the curiosity of the die-hard Fed haters, but it's a step in the right direction perhaps.

Remember, Mark Pittman started the ball rolling on this, at Bloomberg. It was his gig originally, and it serves as his legacy.

Thanks, Mark.

Note the guide to the data posted here. Very useful.

The Fed's own site is here. A little lite holiday reading.

SEC showed lenience to Bank of America

Fascism? You be the judge. Hey, Mussolini had the trains running on time, right?

Sorry, that's isn't supposed to be fascism, because that's a bad word. Let's use "state capitalism." Now doesn't that sound much better?

Turns out that the SEC held back on some fines for Bank of America because the firm was being bailed out. In other words, there were special favors done because of the government's interest. Hmm.

Pucker up, Buttercup.

Ed Rooney, Ferris Bueller's Assistant Principal and nemesis, used the above words as he contemplated catching Our Hero red-handed. Didn't happen though.

This time, it very well could. We could end up helping to bail out Europe. Yet again.

It's not a big deal at this point, really. But I'm afraid that we'll end up needing that bailout here. We'll see. There's a pretty good chance, at this point, that Europe is going to implode. The EURO might just implode (if people over there have any sense).

As Glenn Beck pointed out this morning, if they DON'T implode and revert to nation-state status with their own currencies, Germany will end up bearing a lot of the economic burden over there, along with the UK (sort of). Hmm.