From Dick and Betty Ward (my uncle and aunt), some insight on the current Wall Street & banking mess:


A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer,
'This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.'
The barber put a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then called the boy over and asked,

'Which do you want, son? ' The boy took the quarters and left the dollar.

'What did I tell you?' said the barber. 'That kid never learns!'

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store & says

'Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?'

The boy licked his cone and replied, 'Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!'

From @ RISK, and Palisade, FREE SEMINARS!!!!!!

Got this email today from Jaime (Johnson) Weisberg at Palisade:


I’d like to remind you about Palisade’s upcoming DecisionTools Energy Risk Forum and complimentary Academic Symposium in Houston May 21-22.

The Energy Risk Forum will be held at the Hyatt Regency on May 21. The one-day event features customer case studies and specialized software training to demonstrate how @RISK and DecisionTools risk analysis software are being used to solve real-world problems faced by the oil, gas, and energy industry.

The Academic Symposium is a free one-day event at the University of Houston on May 22nd. The symposium will demonstrate how the DecisionTools Suite can easily enable quantitative risk and decision analysis to be added into academic syllabi.

WHAT’S COVERED

Topics at the Energy Risk Forum will include:

· Hands-on software training on @RISK, PrecisionTree, and RISKOptimizer

· Cross-border pipelines and political risk

· Construction and project risk analysis

· Environmental liability estimation

· Natural gas market optimization

· Subsea oil and gas field optimization

· And more


View the full schedule and register: http://www.palisade.com/2009Conf/energy/schedule.asp


Topics at the Academic Symposium will include:



· Overview of the DecisionTools Suite 5.0

· Teaching business leaders how to make good decisions

· Selecting the right distribution for modeling

· Capital budgeting

· Capital inequities and sports wagering

· And more



View the full schedule: http://www.palisade.com/2009conf/academic/schedule.asp

There is no charge for this event. To register, please contact Jaime Weisberg: mailto: jweisberg@palisade.com or call 800-432-RISK x 311.

Job search resource from Dr. Kevin Wooten, UHCL prof

Found on the web. Lengthy, but mostly free-standing and hugely entertaining. Enjoy!!!!!


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